"Let's just talk about it."

We have a yelling issue in this household. I never wanted to head down this path, but I have become a yeller. I did not used to be a yeller, though with each passing year the habit gets worse. I hate that I am a yeller. I fully recognize that yelling does nothing to solve problems. In fact, most of the time, it just further escalates issues and creates anxiety in my kids. But, in those super-intense, aggravating moments, that release of force through my voice offers a release of stress that keeps me (against my will) going right back to this action when I get stressed, despite the fact that I feel incredibly guilty the second the words leave my mouth.

I don't want my kids to fear me. I do want them to listen to me. What parent doesn't? Sometimes I feel like the only way I can be heard is to be as loud as possible. The shock factor does successfully get their attention, but the problem is that once I have their attention, I don't usually get the response I am looking for anyway. So every day, I tell myself that tomorrow I am going to do better. Tomorrow I am going to keep my cool. Tomorrow I will not be a yeller. Then 7AM rolls around. The kids start waking up. They start interacting with each other. The house quickly goes from silence to a sea of activity, and the next thing you know, fights break out, no one is listening, breakfast is getting cold, the clock is ticking closer to the time we need to leave, anxiety levels start to go up... The next thing you know, the screaming and yelling begins.

I tell myself, as I put the kids down for naps, that post-nap time is going to be different. They will be more rested. I will have a break for a little bit, so I will be able to keep my cool. And yet, by 4:30PM, we are back to the chaos that is our daily life and my ability to hold it in is gone in an instant. Lord knows that once I get going, it is hard to keep my cool. I constantly think, "If they would just do what I ask, I would not get to this point!" But, I am an adult, and they are children. I realize this is a weak argument. Children are programmed not to listen. It is natural for them to test limits. So, obviously it is unreasonable for me to expect them to actually listen each time I tell them to do something. I know this, but it does not make me feel any better about their defiant actions.

I started noticing changes in my kids recently, probably over the last six months. It seems that everyone is high strung. Anxiety levels are really high. Fights (actual, physical fights) break out between the kids over even the smallest of annoyances. My youngest is especially physically agressive. Any time someone happens that does not go their way, they scream at each other as loudly as they can. They are constantly on-edge and their fights are extreme. I know siblings fight. I have two brothers. I remember. However, at this age, it just seems a bit overboard for my kids to be having these intense outbursts all the time. Something is not right. Why are they responding to each other like this?

The answer is obnoxiously obvious. Any time I am frustrated with them, I yell and scream at them to get their attention and hopefully get them to do what I want. So, is it surprising that when they get frustrated with each other, they immediately turn to each other and start screaming? Charlie is not as great with vocabulary and speech as the others, so his outburts often shift to hitting or kicking when he is unable to put his frustration in words. Watching them this last week, I felt this horrible weight of guilt and shame creep over me. I did this. I created this. They are doing what I do, not what I say (as the saying goes). I tell them to be nice to each other, to be respectful, etc. Then the moment I get upset, I become unglued and lash out. They aren't listening to what I am telling them to do. They are watching what I am doing and mimicking my actions.

Big gulp. Whoa. I created monsters. Something needs to change, immediately. By something, I mean me. I need to change. I cannot yell like this anymore. I am setting such a horrible example for my kids. This is not OK. As I said, I have told myself before that I am going to do better tomorrow and I honestly do try. But I need to be more serious about my efforts now. The kids are only 6, 4 and 3. There is still time to shift their behavior. If it were 10 years from now, the damage would be more permanent. It is hard to change behavioral tendencies when your child is already 16 years old. It almost becomes too late. But it is not too late yet. I need to make a change, and this change needs to happen immediately before more damage is done.

Today I adopted a new motto for our family.

"Let's just talk about it."



I sat down with the kids today and told them about our yelling problem. We talked about how they do not like being yelled at by Mom and Dad. We talked about how Mom and Dad do not like when they yell at each other. We discussed how it makes us feel sad or upset or mad when there is so much yelling going on... They completely agreed that they do not like Mom and Dad yelling, but they did not necessarily have a problem with yelling at each other. Naturally. But I hope using our new motto over time, they will learn to be more respectful of each other.

I told them that from now on, when there is yelling going on, we are to tell the yelling person, "Let's just talk about it." This will be our cue to each other that screaming and yelling is not going to solve the problem. We need to talk to each other, in normal, respectful tones, if we want to communicate with each other. When we use this phrase, it is our reminder to take a deep breath and calmly express ourselves and our feelings to one another. I gave them the green light to use this phrase on Mom and Dad, too. I wanted them to be able to hold us accountable, too. Hopefully hearing it from their little mouths will be enough of a reminder to me (and my husband) that no matter how frustrated we are with them, yelling is not the answer... I hope it will remind us that they are watching our behavior and learning how to deal with their own frustrations by watching us deal with ours. The yelling has to stop, and we have to be the leaders of this new charge. We have to show them how it is done. It is going to be challenging. It is going to be draining. Some times I am sure I will want to rip my hair out. But, I do not want my kids to be filled with anxiety and aggressiveness and anger. It's time for a change, a serious change. One day at a time, I will be working on bettering my stress-management skills so I can show my kids how it is done.

Instead of yelling and screaming and freaking out over my frustrations, the new plan is simple: Let's not yell about it. Let's not scream about it. Let's not hit or kick because of it.

"Let's just talk about it."

That's the plan... Now, ACTION!

Summer Passports!

It's summer break!! WAHOO!! As I sigh a huge sigh of relief and celebrate that we have survived another school year (my first experience with elementary school, too), I also feel this sense of doom creep over me. It's summer. The school year schedules and run-around to extracurriculars is over (or ending soon). So... now what?

By the time May hits, I am totally over all the stress of the school year and scheduling. But at the same time, my kids do very well with scheduled-out days, knowing exactly what is coming next, staying busy all day long. The laid-back summer life is amazing... at first. However, about one week into summer, the dreaded words start to pour out of their little mouths...

"Mom... I'm bored."

Seriously. They're bored. They are so used to go-go-go all day long that having some down time is equivalent to "bored" for them. For me, down time is amazing! I am thrilled! I don't have to go anywhere today? Awesome! To them, it is torture. They enjoy having things to do. And even though I do try to keep them busy in the summer, my attempts at entertainment are always followed by, "We never do ANYTHING fun!" when we have a 5-minute break in our day. Right. We NEVER do anything fun. EVER. We just stare at walls all day, as far as they are concerned. That fun, 3-hour pool visit we just returned from 10 minutes ago becomes a fleeting memory. My kids get childhood Alzheimer's in the summer.

When my friend Deb, mom to triplets (the same age as my oldest), contacted me about this fun, "summer passport" idea, I was thrilled. I was interested in finding some way to 1) keep myself accountable by having a list of activities ready to go and 2) make it memorable for them so they were not so quick to think we never do anything fun. This summer passport plan was exactly what I needed.

So how does it work?

There is no one correct way to do it, so feel free to branch off and make it your own. For me, I ended up purchasing three, small, spiral-bound notecard booklets from the dollar store. There are 50 notecards in each booklet. I drew a dividing line on each page so I can include two activities per page. Using a list of ideas my friend Deb gave to me and some ideas I drafted on my own, I filled out the notebooks with all the things I would like to do with the kids over the summer. Some of the ideas repeat. For example, I think I have about 8 spots for "Go to the pool" (we are there at least 3-4 times a week!), and some of the ideas are just in there once (such as 4th of July fireworks). Each day, we will try to do at least ONE fun activity from our summer passports. It does not have to be some epic adventure. It can be something completely simple, such as "go for a bike ride". Or, it can be something extra special such as "visit the Ribfest festival". The nice part about this activity is that it is completely up to you! You can make it as drawn-out or as simple as you'd like. Once we do an activity, the kids put a sticker (or you can use a stamp) on that entry to show they completed it.



This activity is great for a few reasons. First, on those days when I feel like I have already done EVERYTHING I can think of to entertain the kids, it gives me something to turn to for additional ideas. Second, it is a reminder to the kids of all fun things we did over the summer. Thus, the first time they say, "We NEVER do anything fun!", I can quickly whip out their passports as a reminder of all that we have done thus far! Third, there are stickers involved. My kids, like most kids, are sticker-obsessed. They will do anything if it means they get a sticker. So having the reward of putting a sticker in their book puts a huge smile on their faces.

The passport thing is super awesome. But, taking it a step further, Deb had the idea to add in journaling as well. #WINNING Her girls and my daughter are all entering first grade next year. Journaling is a great way to keep their minds fresh and their fine motor skills exercised. What a great way to practice reflection while also working on storytelling with writing, spelling, etc. Perfect. I bought three composition books for my kids for their journaling. Each night, as a winding-down activity, we write in their journals. My first grader can write on her own, and she usually draws a little picture to go with her entry as well. My boys are too young to write, so I write a quick summary of what we did that day and they get to choose what they would like to draw to represent the day. It's a fun, family-oriented way to settle down at the end of the night. Another added bonus is that my husband (who works late hours and travels for work) can read through their journals and relive their summer experience even though he cannot always be present for all the activities. Win, win, win, win, win.

The preparation process took the longest. Buying the materials. Adding the activities to the passport. Introducing the concept and helping them through the first couple journal entries while they get the hang of it. But, as with all family routines, once they have a week or two with the system, it will just become a normal part of our day. I am sure there will be some overwhelming days where we will forget to add a sticker or skip out on journaling. That is OK, too. I did not decide to do this so I can stress myself out over keeping up with it in an obsessive way. It's just a fun way to keep summer interesting and fun and filled with new ideas and activities.

If you are interested in making a summer passport, here are some ideas I included in ours:

- Storytime at the library
- Visit the pool
- Go for a bike ride
- Go fishing
- Go on a camping trip
- Backyard camping
- Feed the ducks at the Riverwalk
- Go for ice cream
- Have a playdate with a friend
- Donate something to someone in need
- Attend swim lessons
- Attend Vacation Bible School
- Take the dog for a walk
- Go on a nature walk
- Visit a family member's house (Nana, Papa, Grandma, etc)
- Visit a specific park (made a separate page for 5-7 local parks)
- Go to downtown Chicago
- Go for a boat ride
- Visit the beach
- Attend a birthday party
- Make a card and mail it to someone
- Play lava rocks
- Rent a movie and eat popcorn while watching it
- Join the Summer Reading Program
- Go to Cosley Zoo
- Visit the Brookfield Zoo
- Go to the Morton Arboretum
- Go to a bouncy house place
- Visit the DuPage Children's Museum
- Go to open skate at the ice arena
- Go to Ribfest
- See the fireworks
- Go to a parade
- Attend a luau party
- Go mini golfing
- Make s'mores in the fire pit
- Hike in the forest preserve
- Visit a pool other than our usual pool
- Make goody bags for a friend and surprise them with it
- Go to church
- Visit the Shedd Aquarium
- Build a blanket fort
- Bake cookies and eat them
- Have a picnic at the park
- Eat dinner at the pool
- Wash the van with Mom
- Shop at a garage sale
- Water balloon toss
- Pick berries
- Phillips Park
- Night swim at the pool
- Picnic in the backyard
- Make a lemonade stand
- Visit a Farmer's Market

The list can go on and on... If you are like me, reading this list will probably shoot off at least 5-10 other ideas that are applicable to your area or your family, too. I hope this list helps create a starting point for your brainstorming. You can add other basic ideas, too, such as coloring, play-dough play time, painting, building a tower with blocks, etc. It can truly be as simple as you'd like!

So, happy summer, moms! I know we have all been looking forward to this, even though in a week we will likely be counting down the days until they return to school. I hope this idea ends up being something that can help keep your kiddos entertained throughout the summer. Good luck and Godspeed. ;)

My message to New Years Resolution-ers...

My message to New Years Resolution-ers or those just getting started on a weight loss plan...

Now that it's January 1st and the New Years resolution of weight loss is firing up in people all across the country, I cannot help but reminisce about the beginning of my journey a couple of years ago. Other than when I was a child, weight loss has pretty much ALWAYS been on my list of resolutions, always. But, for the first time ever, it's not on my list this year. Over the past two years, I actually stayed true to my resolution and achieved the loss I was looking for. YOU CAN, TOO! :)

I bet it sounds like I am about to sell you something... Fear not. I have nothing to sell you. I bring no gimmicks to the table. I am equipped only with some tips and some words of advice, based on my personal experiences. Everyone's journey will be different, but if I could go back and talk to 2-years-ago me, this is what I would say...

1) Welcome to this incredible journey!!! It's going to be just that... a journey. If you are thinking in your head that you'll be a bikini model by summer, let's tone it down a notch. If you truly want to succeed and want to not only lose weight but also gain health, you have to be in it for the long haul. Are you in it for the long haul? Or are you looking for a "quick fix"? Because I have to tell you, if you aren't going to accept that this is going to involve LONG TERM (even LIFELONG) changes, then honestly the chances of you succeeding are going to drop dramatically. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Trust me. I've tried all the fads, the diet pills, the weight loss diet programs, etc. This is going to be a lifestyle change and it's going to take time. Are you with me?? Can we dedicate ourselves to a NEW LIFESTYLE? Good. Let's do it. :)

2) This is NOT going to be easy. I am sure you're think, "I know this already." And you might... But what you have to understand is that the beginning, though hard, is not the hardest part. Sure, it is hard to get going on a new journey, especially one that involves SO MUCH CHANGE. But, this is not the hardest part. In fact, if this is your first day, it is easiest in the beginning! It's new. You're motivated. You've got a fresh start. The hard part comes later. It comes when you lose your motivation. It comes when you see a gain instead of a loss. It comes when no matter what you try, you totally plateau. It comes when you hit a stressful time in your life and turn to food for comfort. THAT is when things get difficult. THAT is when you're going to need to pull yourself up and push yourself through. Be prepared for those days. As hard as you think today might be, it's going to get a lot worse and a lot more frustrating before it is going to get better. Expect a rollercoaster. Some times you're going to feel like a Biggest Loser contestant with pounds falling off left and right. Other times you're going to feel like giving up, like the world's biggest failure. This is NORMAL. What you have to decide is whether or not you are going to let yourself fail or whether you will PUSH YOURSELF even when you don't think you have anything left to give. Start deciding now... which road will you choose. If you already envision yourself likely failing down the line, your chances of reaching your goal are pretty limited. If you already don't 100% believe in yourself, you've got your work cut out for you. Believe in yourself. You can do this.

3) As they say, excuses are like a**holes, everyone's got one. I get it. Maybe you work. Maybe you've got a few kids. Maybe you can't afford a gym membership. Maybe you're tired. Maybe you've got medical issues. Maybe your spouse isn't supportive. All of these things are just excuses -- things you that are mentally bringing you down, convincing yourself that it's not possible to fix the problem. These things don't matter, really. There is always a way. It's about prioritizing. It's about being resourceful. It's about making the best of what you have. If you really want something, you'll find a way. You don't need to be rich to live a healthy, active lifestyle. We're all busy. I once saw a sign posted at a running store that said, "Someone busier than you is running right now." That really struck me. It's true. I loved to always tell myself that I wasn't losing weight because I "don't have time" to work out or I "don't have time" to cook healthy meals. Total excuses. I did have time. I do have time. I just didn't want to make the time. Because I wasn't ready for the lifestyle change just yet. But, there's always a way. Remember that. The sooner you stop making excuses, the sooner you will see success.

4) You are your own cheerleader. YOU have to be motivated from WITHIN YOURSELF to do this. If you are looking for motivation from your spouse, your best friend, a family member, etc., you aren't doing yourself any favors. It's not about them. Not at all. Sure, it's a bonus when they motivate you or when they support you on your journey. But, let's be real. Just because YOU decide you want to get healthy and lose weight, that doesn't mean everyone else is going to change their lives for you. They aren't going to stop eating unhealthy foods around you. They aren't going to be pushing you to go to the gym when you don't want to go. They shouldn't have to either. It's not their responsibility. It's YOURS. You have to be the one to get your bum off the couch and get busy. YOU have to be the one to make healthy choices, even when you don't want to, even when you're surrounded by temptation from every side. It's all about you. So, dig deep inside yourself... write down all the reasons you want to do this for YOU. Are you wanting to wear a certain bathing suit someday? Maybe a special dress? Are you wanting to fit in some old clothes you used to wear? Is there an activity you want to be able to do that you can't do right now? Are you looking to feel a certain way about your body? Write these motivators down. Save them. You'll need them on the days you forget why you're doing this... those days when you just want to give up.

5) You need to PACE YOURSELF. If you think you're going to start a diet today and start working out 5 times a week, too, while also giving up soda and dessert, you're crazy. That is just too much change at once. If you overload yourself like that, you are just setting yourself up for failure. Do you need to start eating healthy? Yes. Do you need to start working out? Yes. Should you try to drop bad habits that affect your health? Yes. Do you need to do all this RIGHT NOW? No. Please don't. You'll make yourself crazy. Trust me. I've tried it. Take it slowly. Make a list of all the things you'd like to change, and be specific. Then ease yourself into it one thing at a time. Maybe you eat out a lot right now -- lots of fast food. A good way to start is to say you're going to cut back to eating out just twice a week instead of 5 times. This might involve more meal planning and thinking ahead... so start working that into your routine. Slowly cut back from there. This is just one example. But give yourself 3-4 weeks with your first big change before tackling the next. Ease into it. As for workouts... the same rule applies. Ease into it. Don't think you need to get out and run a 5K today when you haven't worked out in a couple years or more (or ever!). Don't exhaust yourself. In fact, fat burning zones (for your heart rate) are the LOWER zones. If your heart is racing so fast you feel like it is going to bust out of your chest, that is a sign you are working yourself too hard. You are in too high of a zone, which means you are going to be burning SUGARS/CARBS and NOT STORED FAT. Slow it down. Try some interval training (example would be: walk 2 minutes, power walk 1 min, run 1 min and repeat the process for 30 mins or longer if you can). My point is, don't over work yourself. This is going to be a long journey, so why rush into the change so fast?

6) Strength-training is your friend. You will not "bulk up". You will not look like a body builder. I promise. I had trainers tell me this, and I was VERY reluctant. I just wanted to tone up. I didn't want to "get big". Only the "big guys" at the gym do weights, right? Wrong. You NEED strength training as much as you need cardio. You don't have to be at a gym loaded with weights to do strength training either. You can do resistance training using your own body weight. Push-ups are just one example. Google strength workouts for women and you'll find a ton of options out there. Definitely do strength though. You won't necessarily see the muscle right away. It might take a long time... but it'll be there, waiting for you, once you burn off the fat that is covering it. Then you'll be REALLY glad you did it. It's not just for bodybuilders. Besides, when you're building muscle tone, you're BURNING FAT.

7) Journal your food, even if just for a while. MyFitnessPal.com and other sites like it make journaling SO easy and you can even do it on your phone. You need to start really looking at WHAT you are eating and HOW MUCH you are eating. It's crucial. Do you need to use these websites for the rest of your life? No. They are helpful for LEARNING and they are a great support during the weight loss process. But after a while, you get to know about what level of calories certain foods have, etc. Eventually you will not need these anymore. But you likely did not get to where you are by eating healthy foods in appropriate portions. Chances are you are unaware of just how bad the foods you are eating are... or how much you are eating. Dust off those measuring cups and spoons. You need to start MEASURING out your foods. If you have the means for getting a food scale, GET ONE. READ LABELS. Look up restaurant menus (for chain restaurants) BEFORE going so you know what you're getting yourself into. KNOW what you are eating and where it is coming from. And I can hear some of you thinking, "I don't eat that bad... I don't need to do this." Trust me. I thought the same until I started seeing how often I was going WAY overboard OR way UNDER. Eating healthy DOES NOT MEAN EATING LESS. If you are doing some 1200 calorie per day diet, you are liking NOT EATING enough. You need to determine your BMR to see how many calories you should be eating based on your height, weight, age, and normal activity level. You'd be surprised at how many calories you need to be eating to lose weight. It may even be more than you thought. Check into it. If you are feeling fatigued and irritable while on some "diet", it's probably becase you aren't eating enough or getting enough nutrients. When you undercut your calories, you risk SLOWING your metabolism (your body's defense system for preventing you from starving away).

8) Do not fall into the trap of beating yourself up. You're going to mess up. Accept it now. You might have a bad meal. You might have a bad day. You might have a bad WEEK. Heck, you might even have a bad MONTH. But there is ALWAYS the option of turning things around. Always. Berating yourself. Calling yourself fat. Telling yourself you're ugly and always will be. These things will not help you. This is only going to slow you down. DO NOT TELL YOURSELF ANYTHING YOU WOULDN'T SAY TO SOMEONE ELSE! Respect yourself. Would you call your best friend a fat ass and tell her that she can't do this? No. So why treat yourself that way? Tell yourself, "I had a bad (day, week, month, etc), and I CAN turn this around. I am in control of my choices and I can fix this." Believe it when you say it, too. ;) That helps.

9) Don't OBSESS over the scale. Please don't. I know they say "it's just a number" and this is so true... but I also know how important that number can feel while you're trying to lose. It does matter to you when you're losing weight. I mean, that's the whole point, right? Getting the number to go down? Yes, that is part of it (along with getting HEALTHY, which should be up there, too!). But you cannot obsess. Don't weigh yourself daily. It'll drive you CRAZY. I would recommend weekly, if you must. But no more than that. Also, your weight WILL fluctuate throughout the month. Just because a number goes up, doesn't mean it is a gain. Heck, I lost all my weight already and I STILL fluctuate 3-4 lbs throughout the month. It's totally normal. It's when you're consistently going up that you need to worry. Also, water weight and water retention and hydration levels can play heavily into the number you see on the scale. Remember that. If you're dehydrated for one weigh in and then you feel like you gained 2 lbs overnight, that is not the case. You may be 2lbs heavier, but you don't gain 2lbs of FAT overnight. It's water weight. This is why you shouldn't obsess over 1-2 lbs on the scale. You're going to bounce around a lot. Please, please keep this in mind. Also keep in mind that INCHES matter. You could stay the same weight and drop a pant siz.e This is totally possible. As you start to lose, your body is going to shape-shift. So, doing measurements of your body is another way to follow your progress so you can see changes even when the scale isn't moving.

10) Find activities YOU love. Not everyone is a runner. Not everyone likes Zumba. Not everyone is cut out for P90X. Find out what works for YOU! But in the process, please keep in mind that sometimes it takes TIME for you to develop a love for something. With exercise and physical activity, it is not always "love at first sight". Keep an open mind. If you didn't like something the first time, give it another few tries before giving up on it. Keep trying new things all the time. You might be surprised at what ends up being YOUR love. :)

11) Keep living your life. Losing weight does not have to mean giving up all the things "bad for you" foods you love so much. You can still have a piece of cake. You can still drink a glass of wine. You have to live your life. Deprivation will only strengthen your desire for these things and you will likely end up binging on the foods you're depriving yourself of. Instead, work on proper portions and if you're going to splurge, bank some extra gym time to off-set those extra calories. Living a healthy lifestyle and losing weight doesn't have to mean a life free of all things you once loved. It's all about balance and moderation!

I realize this is crazy long. Sorry about that. These are just thoughts I had as I was at the gym, thinking back on my experiences and what I've learned along the way. I wish you all the VERY BEST! I don't want to say good luck, because luck doesn't really have much to do with it. It's not luck. I wish you a heart full of motivation. I wish you a mind full of focus. I wish you all the stamina in the world. You CAN do this. :)

It's the little things...

This Pinterest website has me totally ready to renovate my entire house. Every time I pop on there to see what is new, I find another 10-15 things I would love to do to our house. But, the reality is that we cannot afford to change everything about our house right now. I am a stay-at-home mom, so we are living on one income with three small children (two are in preschool, one is in dance, two are in ice-skating, all three are in gymnastics, we go to a pricey gym, etc). We can afford our lifestyle, but it does not leave a lot leftover for the house, especially for unnecessary decorative changes. But, it's fun to dream about all the things I would like to do in the future. Thus, I created my "Dream Home" board on Pinterest... for all those unrealistic things I love about other homes that I'd love to do someday (in the far, far future).

I also have my "For the Home" board where I put my more realistic ideas. Usually these are smaller projects, organizational items, or paint color ideas, etc. I decided I would start with organization and fixing some of the eye sores in our house that have been here from the start. We may not be able to renovate our master bathroom right now, for example, but that doesn't mean I cannot take steps to make it look nicer in the meantime, despite the pink tile! This works out well for me, too, because it allows me to do spring cleaning while also decorating and rearranging.

One of those recent projects was our pantry (I'll get back to the master bath later). Now, before you go looking at the pictures, expecting to see a Pinterest-worthy pantry with all kinds of cool glass containers. Stop. You will not find that! :) I am not sure I am up for that just yet with my kids being so small. I am imagining a lot of broken glass in the next few years. Once they are a little bit older and capable of being careful with what they are doing, I will start doing cool stuff like that. But for now, we'll stick with plastics and boxes.

My beef with the pantry was the walls. When we moved in, we painted our house from top to bottom. Ceilings. Walls. Baseboards. Doors. Everything. We did all the closets except the main closet in the foyer and the pantry. By the time we got to those two, we were tired and just wanted to get everything moved in. So, we threw all the food in the pantry and moved on. Four years later, the pantry still looked like a train wreck.

I started off by cleaning the pantry out. I threw out old foods, tried to come up with a new way to organize the food on shelves so that it made more sense, etc. This was a good start, but those walls were an eye sore. They were so beat up. Scratches and marks were everywhere. I decided it was time to paint. What a pain in the butt that was! I uninstalled all the shelving and emptied the pantry. I decided to use color in the pantry this time. Clearly, when the walls are white, they show every ding and scratch made by all the food containers and cans. I wanted to disguise all that with some darker paint. Since we have some red accent walls in our kitchen, I decided I'd go with that.

It only took two coats of paint, surprisingly, but the pantry looks incredible now. Once we do get all the cool storage containers, I'll be very happy. But in the meantime, this makes me happy. That little pop of color when the door opens looks really nice! It was a lot of work to paint such a small area (and Ryan had to reinstall all the shelving). But, I think it was totally worth it. (See below for pictures.)

When it comes to fixing things around the house, it's the little things... Here is one of those "little things" projects of mine. The master bathroom changes are still to come. I have a few things left to finish.

BEFORE: The pantry had cream walls that were extremely beat-up. It looked like this when we moved in, but we never got around to fixing it (until now).

AFTER: Using the same red color as our kitchen accent walls, I painted the pantry walls (and ceiling) in the deep red color. Since the pantry is not on one of the kitchen walls that is red, it really pops against the cream walls outside the pantry.

"Mommy loves your artwork, dear. But I need to be able to open the fridge."

Two posts in one day. I'm on a roll. ;)

My kids love to get creative. Add in the fact that two of them are in preschool, and it seems like we are constantly flooded with art projects and crafts and such. There is paper everywhere. Seriously. It is actually part of the preschool experience that I hate. I really don't need every little scribble sent home. ;) But, that is a whole other blog...

My refrigerator is not that big. We have other important notes on it. There are tons of magnets (I need to scale that down or at least come up with a more Pinterest version of magnets!), plus our kids have a few of those Leap Frog Fridge Friends magnet toys. There are 3 sets of magnets for those toys up there too. I really do not have room for all their projects and crafts on the refrigerator, too. When their artwork is added, usually I struggle to open the fridge without everything falling down. Not to mention, it ends up looking like a total cluster. I hate that.

At the same time, I am a mom. I have three kids... three kids who are proud of their projects and want it displayed for all to see. I get that and I can be on board with that plan... just not on my refrigerator! I have seen some stores selling these shadow-box-style frames where you can open the front part of the frame and switch out the artwork. While those are nice, they are expensive. On top of that, it seems that a lot of the artwork that does come home is not the kind of thing that would fit into some framed space. Look at Henry's Hickory Dickory Dock project (see pictures) as an example. I needed something that would allow us to display projects, no matter their size or shape.

My solution was to use a piece of wood plaque (from Michael's) and two clothes pins, plus a little scrapbooking paper and some remnant fabric I had around the house. I started by painting the wood plaques white (since all our doors and woodwork are white here). Then I traced each child's hand onto some brown scrapbook paper and cut it out. I measured out two pieces of scrapbook paper to put on top of the wood plaque to make it look framed. The under piece is a dark maroom (tan for Henry's) and the top on all three is a cream color paper. Then I cut out a heart and the first letter of their name using the remnant fabric and used a scrapbooking glue pen to apply it. I used a gold pen to write their phrases ("Lucy's Artistry", "Henry's Handiwork" and "Charlie's Creations") onto the cream paper. I glued all the paper and fabric parts with the glue pen and then used hot glue to apply the completed paper piece to the wood.

The most complicated part was the hanging piece. I decided to use the remnants to create the hangers for the plaques. I don't have a sewing machine right now, so it was a no-sew project. I just ironed out three long, thin strips of fabric. Then I folded the ends in on the top and bottom (horizontally) and ironed it so that the frayed ends would be folded in. Then I ironed it into that position. I folded the whole thing in half again to fully tuck those frayed edges inside the strips and ironed again. I just used hot glue to keep it seamed shut. Just a thin strip of hot glue in between the fabric worked like a charm. I created "bows" using the remnants, too. I literally just cut 3 rectangles and then cinched them in the middle and tied it with string. I attached it to the middle of the fabric to make it look a little prettier. I purposely did not treat the edges. I wanted it to fray a little to give it more of an unfinished look.

The last step was to do the clothes pins. I just spray-painted them white and then glued them onto the sides of the plaques so the artwork can be easily hung and removed and replaced. They have space to feature two projects each. I think that is plenty. Then I hung them on the wall in the kitchen, next to the refrigerator.

We now have a "Wall of Fame" in our kitchen where their artwork is displayed. When friends or family come over to visit, the kids will be able to share their projects with others... and I will be able to open my refrigerator without a pile of papers falling off of it!

"Honey, do you know where you put the Target receipt from...?"

My husband is in an accountant. Budgets and bookkeeping are sort of his thing. He's great at it, too. I absolutely hate dealing with the financial stuff, so I feel very thankful that he has a knack for it and a willingness to do it for our family. Thank God! But, being married to a CPA means that all purchases and receipts need to be accounted for at all times. Not just for big purchases, but even the small, seemingly insignificant ones. What does this mean for our household? Receipts. Everywhere.

I thought maybe creating a folder or envelope for them would help. Then we can just place them in an envelope when we have a moment. Although the envelope is in the storage hutch in our dining room, it just never seems to happen that way. They end up on the counter, on the fridge, in pockets, on the floor, in random drawers, in the car, etc. Everywhere but the envelope tucked away in the storage hutch. This clearly was not working.

I decided to find a better way. My husband is great at getting his keys hung on the key rack in our house (which is located at the top of our basement stairway, hung on the wall). I thought, what better place to put receipts than near that key rack. As he drops off his keys, he can place the receipts there, too. I didn't want a large envelope this time either. It gets overstuffed and then he has to sort through it all. I figured it would be best to kill two birds with one stone. Let's not just create a place for receipts, let's create a SORTED organizational plan, too.

We had this old bulletin board that we used to have in the hallway there, but we never really used it. Random junk would accumulate there until we finally removed it and threw it out. It served no real purpose, so I made a purpose for it. I started by painting it white (all the molding and doors in our house are white). Then I cut a piece of fabric from some remnants I have in the basement. I laid the ironed fabric onto the bulletin board and stapled it all along the edges and in several calculated places in the center of the board to keep the fabric in place. I used some ribbon along the edges (hot glued it) to make the edges clean and straight, since the fabric was not perfectly cut. I then took 12 clothes pins and painted them white with spray paint. Once they dried, I labeled them with 12 different categories (such as Grocery, Children, Household, Car, Gifts, etc). I used hot glue to firmly glue the clothes pins onto the board in two rows.

I am really pleased with the outcome! Now the true test is to see whether or not it gets used! But, here are some pictures of the final product:

Create Your Own Photo Collage

I am in love with photo collages. I used to buy the photo collage frames all the time, years ago. But, I have found that it is so much easier (and cheaper) to just purchase a regular-sized frame and then just create a photo collage on an editing program. By doing it this way, you have full control over how many pictures you include, where they are placed, how they are sized, etc. I thought for sure it would cost an arm and a leg to print out these larger pictures, but to my surprise, it is very economical. I use Shutterfly.com for my printing, and their large-size printing is good quality for a great price. When I do the 16x20 collages (for family members), it costs me around $18 for the print. I have a huge 20x30 frame in my hallway at our house, and it costs only $23 to replace the collage (which I have only replaced once so far).

I typically use Adobe Photoshop Elements (mine is the 7.0 version, but there are better versions available now). There are a variety of backgrounds and options to choose from. I do not like how they require you to pay extra to use all of the backgrounds and such, though. A handful are free and then there are a ton that you can't get unless you pay for a membership, which involves a yearly fee. When you are spending $75 (maybe more now) on the program, you shouldn't have to pay an extra fee just to use it, you know? That's my only beef with PSE. I've still been able to do quite a bit with it, though. I really like the program.

Sometimes I will just do all photographs. Other times I try to incorporate text, whether it be birthdates, a meaningful quote (that I usually find via a Google search), or other words and phrases that are fitting for the theme. These are excellent to give as a gift, especially for grandparents. I purchase one for my mother and one for my mother-in-law, in the frame. Now I just make updated collages that I give typically on birthdays or Mothers Day or even for Christmas. They just switch it out in their frame, and they are all set with a variety of update pictures!

Here are some samples of collages I made. These were all made from scratch, not from templates.

Disposable Swim Diapers: Can someone come up with something better? Please?

Before I get into this, let me first start with a warning. This blog is about diapers... and with discussion of diapers comes discussion of gross things like urine and bowel movements. If this is a topic that will offend you or disgust you or make your mouth drop open in horror, now is your time to exit. If you are a mom of young kids, most likely you will not fall into this category. Let's be real, our lives revolve around pee and poop. And with that, let's get to it.

I have to say, disposable swim diapers are topping my list of "most hated baby products". Honestly, I despise them. First, there is the price. Target sells a pack of just 11 swim diapers for $9.99. I usually buy 100-something diapers for $18.99. That is an incredible price difference. The funny part about that is swim diapers are much, much less absorbent than a regular diaper. So really, you are paying more for less protection. I don't get it. I am sure they have to use some special chemical or lining to prevent the swim diaper from soaking up all the water (as a regular diaper would if put into a pool), but how expensive can that be? Surely it should not cause the price of a diaper to be almost $1.00 per diaper! I think it is all a conspiracy. They know that in the summer months, parents have no choice but to buy swim diapers if we want to take our kids to the pool. We cannot wait around for some good sale to come along. So, the companies don't really have a need to price these items low. It frustrates me that we have to pay so much, especially since we are at the pool almost daily, many times twice a day! I can hear the change going down the pool drain each time we put our son in another swim diaper. Thank God our middle child is now potty-trained!

Then there is the previously mentioned issue of absorption. These diapers absorb pretty much nothing. If they did absorb anything, then the pool water would get sucked into the diaper the minute the kids go into the pool! Thus, all the diaper really does is contain the mess in the diaper. That is fine, except for when you want to remove the diaper. These go on like pull-ups. There are no snaps in the front that you can undo to carefully remove it. Instead, your options are: 1) Try to pull the diaper down without spilling the contents all over your child or yourself while your child's skin is wet and sticky, thus causing the diaper to not want to slide down without a fight)... or 2) Tear the sides of the diaper, again without spilling the contents all over you and your probably wiggling toddler as you try to carefully hold both sides up to prevent the spill. Neither situation ends up working out well. When there is nothing really in the swim diaper, that is fine. But... sometimes this can be a major issue. Read on.

Poop + Swim Diapers = Ginormous, Horrifically Disgusting Mess. If you have ever been unlucky enough to realize your child had a bowel movement while in the pool in a swim diaper, I am sure you know how awful this can be. Poop and pool water make a gross mixture within the diaper. The poop gets all watery from the pool water that can sneak in there. Thus, when you realize your child has a poopy swim diaper, you will also notice there is a brown, murky river going on in the diaper as well. It is probably one of the most disgusting poop situations you will ever have to deal with. It is sort of gross to deal with the removal of a wet swim diaper... but the removal of a poopy swim diaper is in a league all of its own.

The other day I was at our local pool when this horrible, tragic fate happened to me. My youngest had a bowel movement while in the pool and the result was horrifying. I quickly removed him from the pool to prevent any of it from leaking out of his diaper and into the swimming pool. With one hand, I held onto my son to prevent him from running off, while using the other hand to rummage through my bag for wipes and a diaper -- which of course were impossible to find amid all the towels, clothes, pool toys, etc. And why I even thought wipes would help in this situation, I am not sure.

There was no way I could lay the kid down to change him. All that brown liquid would have leaked all over him, up his back, all over the towel, and quite possibly onto the pool deck. Not an option. Not only would that be gross, it would be terribly embarrassing to do that with a bunch of spectators. I knew this situation had to be moved to the locker room. I grabbed what I needed and picked up my son.

That is when things topped the charts in terms of nastiness. My squirming son would not let me hold him in front of me, and when I placed him on my hip, I heard the squish. Suddenly, there was brown liquid seeping out the side of the diaper, down my side, and eventually down my leg. Um, gag. I almost threw up right then and there. I picked up the pace and about ran to the locker room while making sure to not squeeze any more liquid poop out of his diaper.

I stood him up in a shower stall and used the ripping of the diaper trick to carefully remove the diaper while holding the contents inside the diaper. I took the risk and left my son unattended for a moment so I could toss the diaper. I came back to the shower and realized that wipes would not do much in this case. The boy needed a shower, and so did I. I think I traumatized the poor kid. The showers are freezing cold and the pressure is really strong and sort of stings when the water hits you. Imagine that on a bare baby boy. Ouch! I jumped in with him, knowing that we both needed to wash up before we could head back out. I cleaned us both up and then for good measure, I ran the water for a few minutes to really rinse out the shower floor. There was nothing really on the floor as far as I could see, but I really wanted to rinse it, just in case!

There was no putting that suit back on him after that. The leak had gotten onto his suit, too, so that quickly ended our pool visit. I ended up packing up the kids in record time and got the heck out of there. All I wanted to do was give both of us a proper bath/shower and get the towels and suits into the laundry immediately.

This, though, is exactly why I think swim diapers are a total crock. I paid almost $1.00 for that diaper (compared to maybe 15 cents for a regular diaper), only to deal with all that drama when the diaper is actually needed. Someone really needs to come up with a better invention for this. I know they make a cloth-version of a swim diaper, but to me, that is just as bad. I don't want to be dealing with scraping watery poop out of a cloth swim diaper. No, thank you!

So, I am begging you, Huggies and Pampers... please, for the love of God (and everyone else who has to swim in the pool), if you could come up with a more economical and absorbent solution to the swim diaper conundrum, I would be so appreciative.

And those of you who may have just entered motherhood and have not yet had the joy of dealing with a poopy swim diaper, consider yourselves warned. I hope this horrible fate never happens to you!

You're a stay-at-home mom? What do you do all day?

Being a stay-at-home mom sounds like a great idea to many. "You get to stay home all day and not work?! SWEET!" I often have people ask me about what it is I do all day. There are some that never give my job (yes, I said job) a second thought. Others assume I sit around with the kids watching TV on the couch while eating snacks all day. I don’t think being a stay-at-home mom is necessarily harder than all other jobs, but it is definitely no cake walk either. So, for those out there that are curious about what I do, let me take you on a journey through a typical day in my life… This is going to be REALLY long, but if you really want to know what my days are like, this should paint a pretty good picture! (And if you cannot handle the whole day, there is a conclusion at the end that you can skip to! :)

Wake up to the sound of your toddler crying in his crib.
Roll over to find your three-year-old standing next to the bed, staring at you.
Listen to your three-year-old jabber on about every random thought that comes through her head.
Take a moment to go to the bathroom (while your three-year-old follows you into the bathroom and continues talking).
Rejoice in the fact that your two-year-old is still sleeping.
Instruct your three-year-old to be quiet so her brother can sleep.
Carefully remove your wailing toddler from his crib and bring him downstairs without waking your two-year-old.
Make breakfast for your two awake children.
Let the dog out and fill her food/water bowls.
Toss some waffles into the toaster for yourself.
Begin emptying the dishwasher.
As the waffles pop up, realize that your two-year-old is now awake and calling for you from his room.
Take a moment to accept the fact that once again you will be eating cold waffles for breakfast.
Bring your two-year-old downstairs and make his breakfast, too.
Eat your cold waffles while simultaneously emptying the dishwasher.
Once emptied, begin filling it with the dishes from the sink from last night (Why didn't you do them last night, you ask? Wait until you get to the end of today and maybe then it will make sense.)
Immediately after finishing, take your screaming toddler (who finished eating a whole 2 minutes ago) out of his high chair.
Clean the high chair and the child.
At this point your three-year-old has finished eating.
Help her clean her hands, put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and wipe down her mess at the table.
Finish putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
Give yourself a two-minute time-out to check your email and update your Facebook status.
Run upstairs to grab clothing for the kids to wear for the day.
While upstairs, throw on the easiest, clean clothing you can find for yourself within 30 seconds.
Take two minutes to brush your teeth, throw your hair in a pony, and wash your face.
Bring the kids clothing downstairs and begin wrestling them into their outfits.
While dressing them, continuously shoo the dog away, as she thinks you are trying to play a game of tug-of-war with her and the clothing items.
Immediately after dressing them, get bombarded by requests for more milk/juice.
Stop to refill all the kids’ cups.
Begin packing the bag for swim class.
Hunt for towels, swim suits, swim diapers, etc.
Be sure to pack snacks and drinks, as the older two will expect refreshments as soon as they are picked up from the YMCA daycare.
Next, start a big pile in the front hallway of all the kids’ winter gear: coats, hats, boots, etc.
Call the kids to the front entryway and begin dressing them in their winter gear.
Remain calm as they all have meltdowns and whine and cry about having to put on their winter gear.
Take two minutes to locate your keys.
Once locating your keys, realize that both boys have pooped their diapers during the two minutes you were looking for your keys… and a few minutes after you finished dressing them in their winter gear.
Remove both boys’ coats and change their poopy diapers.
Put their winter coats back on.
Pick up your toddler and the swim bag and herd the children into the van.
Spend 2-3 minutes on each car seat, making sure the buckles are secure and properly aligned.
Continue to remain calm as they all have additional meltdowns about God only knows what.
Get in the driver’s seat and take a deep breath.

Congratulations. You have made it to 8:45AM. Only 11 more hours until they go to bed.

Drive carefully through the snow to the YMCA.
Find that once again there is no parking in the YMCA parking lot, which contains maybe 10 parking spaces.
Due to the snow, pull up the van to the entrance, turn on your flashers and get out of the car.
Remove the three kids from their car seats and the car.
Carry your toddler while holding your two-year-old’s hand while helping him (dragging him) up the snowy steps.
Remove all the children’s winter gear and hang it up in the coat room.
Bring them into the childcare area and sign them in.
Inform the workers that you will be back for your toddler after parking your car.
Go back to your car and park it a block away from the YMCA in a nearby lot.
Trudge through the unplowed/unshoveled walkway back to the YMCA.
Pick up your toddler from the daycare while assuring your whining two-year-old he will be OK while you are gone.
Carry your toddler and your swim bag to the locker room.
Realize that class starts in 1 minute.
Rush to strip off your clothing (while praising yourself for at least having the sense to put on your suit back at home).
Strip your toddler as quickly as possible and wrestle him into a swim diaper and swim suit.
Grab your towels and rush to the pool.
After all that rushing, arrive at the pool only to find that class has not started yet and does not start for another few minutes.
In your head, complain to yourself about the fact that you rushed and rushed only to sit around and wait for your class to start late.
Get in the pool and spend 30 minutes doing toddler songs and swim activities with your 1-year-old.
Take pride in the fact that he went underwater twice today and did not cry either time.
Get out of the bathwater-warm pool into the freezing cold air and wrap up your toddler in a towel as quickly as possible while trying to forget that you yourself are freezing, too.
Return to the locker room and begin the song and dance of getting your toddler and yourself dressed and your bag repacked.
Use your child’s milk sippy cup as a way to distract him so you can put your clothes on without him crawling himself right out of the locker room.
Realize you really need to go to the bathroom, but your toddler is with you.
Bring him into the stall with you, stand him up on the floor.
Hold his hand with one of your hands, while removing your pants with the other.
Go to the bathroom.
Put your pants back on one-handed while continuing to hold your toddler’s hand so he will not sit down.
Hold back vomit as you consider your response to the idea of your child’s hands (or any part of him) touching the dirty, public bathroom floor.
Pick up your toddler, head to the sink, wash your hands.
Carry your gear and your toddler back up the stairs to pick up your 2-year-old and 3-year-old from the daycare.
After signing them out and greeting them, remember that your car is a block away from the building.
Put on their winter gear and start the sign out process.
Tell them you will return in a couple minutes after picking up the car.
Try to block out the sounds of their crying as they watch you leave the daycare area without them.
Walk a block through the still unplowed/unshoveled walkways back to the van.
Drive around the block and pull up in front of the YMCA entrance again.
Head back upstairs to pick up the kids.
Again carry your toddler down the stairs while holding the hand of your clumsy two-year-old who would likely fall down the 10 stairs without your assistance.
Herd the children into the van once again.
Repeat the drama of buckling the kids into their car seats.
Realize that while you prepared snacks and drinks for the kids, you did not actually place said snacks and drinks into the swim bag.
Listen to the kids scream, cry, and complain about their lack of food and drinks for the entire 20-minute ride home through the snow.
Pull up to the house to find that the driveway is covered in about 3 inches of snow.
Remove all the kids from their car seats.
Help all of them remove their winter gear upon entering the house.
While removing their gear, continue to be bombarded by requests for juice and snacks.
Hang up all the coats and put the boots in the closet.
Bring your toddler upstairs for a nap that you are not sure he will take since he fell asleep in the car for 10 minutes.
Lay him down in his crib and continue downstairs.
Let the dog outside.
Pull together snack for your two-year-old and three-year-old and serve the snack.
Let the dog back inside.
Put on your winter gear and open the front door so the kids can see outside from the storm door.
Tell them they can go to the door if they need you.
Head outside to shovel the driveway.
Realize that you forgot to take out the trash.
Become excited when you realized the garbage truck (which usually comes at the butt-crack of dawn) has not come yet.
Take out all the garbage.
Now shovel the driveway.
Every 5-10 minutes, stop and poke your head in the front door to make sure your children are not killing each other.
Finish the driveway and return inside only to have your three-year-old crying about the fact that your two-year-old hit her with a toy car… and that the dog is in the process of chewing up your three-year-old’s winter hat.
Console your three-year-old.
Yell at the dog.
Pick up the hat.
Put the dog in the crate.
Put on a movie for the kids.
Take 2 minutes to check your email and Facebook account.
Head upstairs to take a shower.
Jump in the shower for no more than 5 minutes since you hear your toddler awaken just before you are getting in.
Get yourself dressed and then go pick up your now wailing toddler.
Put your toddler immediately into his high chair.
Give him some raisins to tide him over until lunch is ready.
Prepare lunch for all three children and serve said meal.
Find some pasta leftover from your kids’ dinner last night.
Reheat it and scarf it down for your lunch while also cleaning up your cooking mess as you eat.

Congratulations, you have made it to lunch time! Unfortunately, it is only 11:45AM, so your day is not half over yet.

Head to the car to grab the swim bag and empty all the wet clothing/towels.
Rotate the laundry in the basement, starting a new load of dirty clothing.
Since you are downstairs, take a two-minute break to check your email and to see what is going on in everyone else’s lives on FB (or at least, those who have updated their status in the past hour).
Bring a basket of clean clothes upstairs, but realize you do not have time to fold it right now.
Head upstairs to grab your daughter’s dance clothing and necessary hair accessories.
When returning downstairs, get bombarded by requests for ice-cream (no), My Little Pony fruit snacks (no), and more juice (OK).
Fill your kids’ juice cups.
Instruct your three-year-old to use the bathroom before getting her dance clothes on.
Finish cleaning up the table from lunch.
Run a brush through your wet hair (remember that shower you took?) that you do not have time to dry, and put it into a ponytail.
Take the dog food out of your toddler’s hands and mouth and put the food bowl away.
Call your three-year-old over so you can dress her for dance.
After the circus that is getting on tights and a leotard and snow boots, remember to remain calm when your three-year-old tells you that she needs to go to the bathroom… again.
Help her out of her dance clothing so she can use the bathroom.
Begin getting the boys dressed in their winter gear so you can head out to dance class.
Grab a few toy cars and trains so the boys have something to play with in the waiting area at your daughter’s dance class.
Toss the toys in your diaper bag along with some drinks and snack. Don’t forget them this time.
Herd the children into the car once again and go through the whole charade of car seats and buckles and whining.
When arriving at dance class, try your best to keep your cool as your two-year-old (who refused to wear snow boots) goes tromping through the deepest snow patches in the parking lot (note: he also hates wet socks).
While holding your toddler, the diaper bag and your three-year-old’s dance bag, pick up your two-year-old by the arm of his coat and get him out of the deep snow.
Take a deep breath as you enter into the most difficult hour of the day.
After undressing all three kids from their winter gear, get your daughter’s tap shoes on while trying to prevent your toddler from crawling underneath the chairs in the busy waiting room.
Once you’ve sent your daughter into dance class, spend the next hour chasing your crabby toddler (who never really took a nap after falling asleep in the car after swim) and your overtired two-year-old (who normally takes a nap at 12:30 each day, except on Tuesdays when he does not nap until 2:30) around the waiting room at the dance school.
Stop them from eating food off the floor.
Correct them when they try to take toys from others.
Continuously bring them back to the seating area each time they try to get into areas that are not intended for them.
Count down the minutes until your daughter is done so you can get everyone back home.
When you see her teacher ending class, begin the song and dance of getting the boys all packed up and in their winter gear.
Try to keep your extremely crabby toddler controlled while removing your daughter’s dance shoes and putting on her snow boots.
Trek through the snow with the kids and re-buckle everyone into their car seats (and yes, they are still whining about it, yet again).
Drive back home.
Sigh with relief when you notice the empty garbage cans that you almost did not get out in time.
Rejoice in the fact that your garage will not smell like week-old poopy diapers for the next week.
Pull the van into the garage and remove all the kids from the car.
Take off their winter gear again and put it all away.

Are you still with me? Congratulations, you have not only passed the halfway point in your day, you have also made it to NAP TIME!

Bring your overly-exhausted toddler and two-year-old directly to their rooms for nap time.
Immediately serve your hungry dancer with yet another snack and pop on a TV show for her.
Head downstairs to rotate the laundry again.
Take 10 minutes for a “Mommy Time Out” and dink around on your email and Facebook while taking a breather.
Consider the options: laundry folding, sitting on the couch to watch a show off the DVR, or working out?
Begin with the laundry folding.
Fold and put away 3 loads of clean laundry.
Realize you will only get more tired as the day continues, so take the time to do your 30-minute workout video.
As you are doing the cool-down stretching, you hear your toddler wailing through the baby monitor.
Head upstairs to get both your wailing toddler and his two-year-old brother he successfully awakened with his crying.
Grieve over the loss of couch time, as you are totally exhausted by this point.
Knowing your toddler is most likely super hungry, fill up his high chair tray with a variety of foods that he can feed himself.
Give your two-year-old his snack.
And give your three-year-old yet another snack, since she has to eat while the others are eating.
While they are eating, take a few minutes to eat a snack yourself.
Check the clock and find that it is now 4:30PM.
Your older children will be awake for another 3 hours.
Your toddler will go to bed in an hour.
It is a bath night for all three of them.
Needing something to fill the time, take all three upstairs for a group bath.
Stop in each of their rooms to collect pajamas and diapers.
Remove the towels from the closet and begin filling the tub.
Stick all three children in the tub with some cups to play with.
Fight to wash each one’s hair and body as they play in the water.
Attempt to keep all water IN the tub and off yourself.
One-by-one, remove your clean children from them tub, towel them off, and fight to get their pajamas on over their barely dry bodies. (This is harder than you’d think.)
Send your two-year-old and three-year-old downstairs.
Bring your toddler directly to his room and lay him in his crib.
Sigh a big sigh of relief, as your youngest is now down for the night… only two to go!

Are you tired yet? Congratulations, you have made it to dinnertime (5:30PM). Although, this can be the toughest two hours of the day as your kids are very tired and moody by this point.

Head downstairs to find your two-year-old and three-year-old wrestling on the couch.
Break up the rough play before someone slams their head on the frame of the couch (again).
Realize it would not make sense to make a full dinner since your husband is out of town and you are the only adult eating tonight.
Instead, decide on a simple dinner of lunchmeat sandwiches, bananas, raisins, and milk for the kids.
Begin assembling their dinner while breaking up the arguments that occur between the two kids (approximately every two minutes).
Listen to your daughter whine about how it is HER turn to talk, and try not to laugh at her when she has nothing to say once given the floor to speak.
Serve the kids their dinner.
Begin searching the house of their sippy cups.
While checking under the couches, find a sippy cup that got stuck under the couch (apparently days ago).
Determine that the cup cannot be salvaged (and hold back your vomit as you find the chunky milk inside).
Immediately throw the cup into the trash in the garage to get the smell as far from you as possible.
Kick yourself for not finding the cup BEFORE the garbage truck came earlier today.
Refill the dog’s food bowl.
Spend a few minutes working on her command training.
Let the dog outside.
Begin heating up a dinner-for-one frozen meal for yourself.
Put all the dishes from the afternoon snacks into the dishwasher.
Let the dog back inside.
As your food is ready, your two-year-old and three-year-old decide they are done eating.
Put your food aside to help them clean up their hands and to remove their plates from the table (which the dog will surely try to get to if you leave it there).
Take your food to the table to eat.
Get interrupted by a phone call.
Sit back down to eat.
Get interrupted by your two-year-old who insists that his diaper mustbe changed now.
Change his diaper.
Sit back down to eat.
Get interrupted by your extremely tired (non-napping) three-year-old who insists that you put her show on immediately.
Knowing the battle that will occur if you do not put the show on, you get up and find something for her to watch.
Sit back down to eat.
Take 3 bites before your two-year-old insists that you fill his cup for the 10th time today.
Fill his cup again.
Sit back down and begin eating as quickly as possible before another interruption comes your way.
Clear your own plate and clean up the kitchen table.
Look at the clock and realize you still have another hour to go until bedtime.
Brainstorm ideas for keeping them occupied.
Remember that they have not had much time in the playroom today since they’ve been out and about.
Bring them into the basement playroom (where the computer is located) so they can play and you can FINALLY have 30 minutes to sit down and write a blog to de-stress from the day’s activities.
You sit back and relax and type while stopping every few minutes or so to answer their questions or to play for a little bit.
At this point, you remember why you love your job so much.
Seconds later they begin fighting again, and that special moment – in which your reflected on your love of your job – becomes a fleeting feeling and you are back on duty.
Promptly at 7PM, you begin the bedtime process.
The kids unwillingly head upstairs as your two-year-old informs you “I –on’t wan it!” when you tell him it is time for bed.
You send your three year old into her room to play while you read books to your two-year-old.
You make him smile with your funny voices at storytime.
Then you make him laugh while you tickle his feet.
You practice colors while reading some books.
Then you give him a kiss and a hug good night.
You head off to your three year old’s room to start the process all over again.
You read her her three books (because she is three years old) and answer her millions of questions as you do so… (“But Mommy, why does the mouse put the lock on the strawberry?” “So the bear won’t eat it.” “But Mommy, how come the mouse put glasses on the strawberry?” “Because he is trying to disguise it. That means he wants to trick the bear into thinking it is not a strawberry.” “Why he do that?” “Because he doesn’t want the bear to eat it.”)
Then you tell your three-year-old about all the amazing things she has ahead of her for tomorrow before giving her a hug and a kiss goodnight.
And you melt when she says, “Wait, Mommy! I love you!” before you walk out of the room.

Your day is officially done. You have survived. But before you head off to the couch to finally sit down, don’t forget about the laundry that is still not done, the last of the dishes and the fact that none of the other major household chores have been touched yet today. Just sayin’.

Not every day plays out this way. Some of these things occur on a daily basis. Others happen, but with different variations. It all depends. While this blog walks through all my motions (and some of my thoughts) from the day, it does not include all the dialogue. It doesn’t show all the interactions with my children, aside from the cooking and dressing and holding and helping. Had I included that, the blog would have been ridiculously longer. It is also not to say that EVERY stay-at-home mom has days exactly like mine. I am just giving a sample from my life. I cannot speak for every stay-at-home parent. Some are busier than me. Some are less busy. It totally depends.

My day is not impossible (though sometimes it feels like it is). It can feel never-ending. It can feel overwhelming. It is definitely both physically and mentally draining. But, it is also very rewarding. My point here is not to suggest that parents that work have it easy or something (in fact, I think they have it harder in many ways – and this is NOT at stay-at-home vs. working-mom debate). My point is just that my day is not a walk in the park. I do not sit around on the couch watching soap operas while my children run amuck. While my day might not be as academically stimulating as other professional jobs, it keeps me on my toes in a different way. Stay-at-home mom is a unique profession with extra-long hours, no built in lunch breaks (or any official breaks for that matter!), constant demands, and endless chores. This does not make it sound appealing. However, you have to consider that the day also includes baby giggles, hugs and kisses from your kids, watching their faces as they learn new things, celebrating with them as they reach new milestones, and being there to comfort them during moments of distress or frustration. It can weigh you down and make you feel so blessed, all at the same time.

So, the next time someone tells you they are a stay-at-home mom (or dad!), now maybe you’ll have better idea of just what they go through on a daily basis.

It's not my party, but I will cry if I want to.

Today is my youngest's first birthday. It is amazing that a whole year has passed! I honestly feel like the time has flown by. I know it is very cliche to say that, but I mean it. I cannot believe the time has gone by so fast, and it's really a bittersweet feeling.

The first year is a rollercoaster experience. I am not the biggest fan of the newborn stage, to be honest. I love the newness of the baby, and I love how they are so teeny tiny and make the most adorable cooing sounds. But, I get over the sleepless nights after about the second day home. Ok fine, after the first. In addition to the constant feeling of exhaustion, there is also the consistently full sink which is stacked with bottles and bottle parts. Due to the round-the-clock eating, there is just no way to catch up. I have to say, though, that I do enjoy the part where the newborn sleeps for a majority of the day and can be carted around everywhere in the car seat -- asleep or awake! Life was so easy back when I could just take the infant car seat in and out of the car and go about our business as if Charlie were not even a person! ;) He was more like an accessory at that point! Just kidding! ;) (No, but really, though...)

Then they start to get a little older, and things start to get complicated again. Sure, I was getting more sleep since they started pulling the overnight stretch by week 7, but then life got difficult during the day. They'd be awake for longer stretches during the daytime, which you would think would be a good thing... except that their limited mobility meant they were bored easily. All my kids went through this when they were not crawling or sitting yet. They wanted to see new things and play with things, but their bodies could not coordinate with their wants, thus they'd get really cranky and annoyed all the time. This meant, I had to fill in where there muscles were lacking. Chores became harder to keep up with and the older children started to get more annoyed... "It's my turn, Mommy! Come play with me now!" But at the same time, it is so fun to watch them hit all those milestones. The rolling over, sitting, crawling, standing, cruising... there's always something new!

I love the baby stage once the kids could sit unsupported. I felt like I got back some of my independence when they mastered the ability to sit. Dishes need to get done? No problem. "Here baby, sit here with these toys while Mommy does the dishes." Done. This stage is great for that purpose. They can interact with the world have a good view on what is going on around them, yet they cannot go anywhere yet. :) This means they cannot get into much trouble, which is great for Mom! The only problem for us is that around this point is when we let go of the infant car seat. (We could have used it longer, but it starts to get very heavy lugging that big seat around with an older infant in it!) Getting out and about is more difficult since the baby needs to be held a majority of the time. Park visits are difficult (babies like to put sand in their mouths and they cannot really do anything but sit in the swing). But the down sides to this stage are masked by those adorable chubby cheeks and baby faces! By this point, the newborn alien look is gone, and they are full-blown adorable little babies. (Sorry, I think newborns look kind of weird. LOL! Even mine!)

Then life gets even more interesting when you start with the introductions of solids. In addition to feeding them bottles all day long, you are now having to sit them down for a few meals each day, too. I swear, for a while there, I felt like all I did all day long was change diapers and feed them. The food would go in and the out and then in and then out and then in and then out... and then it was bedtime. Crawling starts up and then the baby-proofing gets kicked up a couple notches, as they start to get into everything. Crawling up stairs is soon to follow, along with pulling up and then standing unsupported. It seems like they don't do any major moving for months, and then in a very short period of time, they are doing it all! Every day I would turn around to find them accomplishing a new skill. Life is so busy at this stage, because they are constantly on the go. Sure, they still nap twice a day at this point, but those naps only allow you enough time to catch up with all the chores and such that you did not get handled while they were awake (keeping you on your toes while they constantly get into trouble!).

And somewhere in between all those ups and downs, they grow from teeny little newborns to one-year-old toddlers. Just as quickly as they move through all those clothing sizes, you find yourself retiring all the baby items... first the swing, then the Exersaucer, then the Jumperoo... it all gets put away one by one as your little baby starts to fully explore the world. I was of course very excited to get all that big stuff out of my house. It does take up an incredible amount of space, let's be real. But, I think I had the hardest time with letting go of the bottles.

Why the bottles? I don't know. I guess I just looked around one day and realized that the bottles were the last of the "baby things" that had not been packed away or sold. They were the last thing sitting in the cabinet, tying us to Charlie's babyhood. We switched him off the bottle a few weeks ago, but I could not bring myself to actually remove them from the cabinet. I think it just made it all too real, that the baby stage is officially over. I had three children very close together, so while one would grow out of the baby stage, there was always another baby there to step into the role. For the first time ever, there is no one to step in, and I am having a hard time accepting this. Yesterday, I finally got enough courage to pull out a bag and remove the bottles from the cabinet. I did not throw them away, as I had always thought I would. I put them upstairs in his room for now. But I did cry for a minute or two when I took them down. I know, I am ridiculous.

So, today has finally arrived... Charlie's first birthday, and while I should be happy and celebrating his birth, I am actually feeling really depressed about it. I mean, don't get me wrong... I am looking forward to growing as a family and moving on to other exciting adventures that lie ahead. But at the same time, I feel like I am grieving the loss of a stage of life that we will never get back now that our youngest has moved past it. It's a very real, harsh reality that I thought I would be more prepared for, when in fact, I am not. If money were endless and growing on trees, I'd have more kids in a heartbeat! But unfortunately, that is not the way things work. I am trying my hardest to remind myself that there are many reasons why we decided to stop after 3 kids... but right now, none of those reasons are coming to mind. Either that, or I am forcing them to the back of my mind while I focus on how much I will miss having a baby around. In reality, we have to stop having children some time, so I will have to go through this at some point, right?

Today is a rough day for me, and although it is not my party, I will definitely cry if I want to. :-(

Where do you draw the line?

One of the parenting issues that I cannot really wrap my head around is figuring out when it is or is not OK to take your recently sick (or becoming sick) child out into the world to interact with others. It seems like it should be black and white. If they are sick, keep them home. If they are well, take them out. But any parent will tell you that it is not that simple. Kids get sick all the time, as I can tell you from firsthand experience this holiday season! Our three were sick from December 19th until now! They have not all been sick with the same things or even at the same time, but it has been an interesting few weeks to say the least.

I am just not sure at what point it is OK to throw them back into the world of playdates, school, extracurricular activities, parties, etc. The schools lay out the rules for you, but even those rules are not completely objective. Sure, there is the rule about no vomiting or fever for 24 hours (some schools even state 48 hours!). But then there are the subjective parts regarding nasal congestion levels and coughing and such. But how do you really tell when it is OK?

I have really been battling with this issue recently, and my husband and I do not always see eye-to-eye. He is definitely more liberal than I am. He thinks that as long as they are not vomiting now, it should be fine. Ok, maybe not that liberal, but you get the idea. He just doesn't think it is a big deal to take the kids out soon after they have been sick. I always get a quick, "They're fine!" from him. But, their health is not always what worries me. It's also the health of all the other kids (and adults) that will interact with ours once we leave the house.

My fear is becoming "that mom". You know, the mom who takes her super boogery child to the children's museum where she proceeds to sit back and watch as her child's green nasal discharge gets smeared all over the toys that everyone else's kids are handling... the one who does not realize that just because her child stopped vomiting a couple hours ago, it does not mean the virus has fully cleared from the child's system... And then when you mention to her a few days later that your kids are now sick with the same illness, she says something like, "Oh, well that's unfortunate, that must be around right now..." (Sidenote: I do not think any of my friends are "that mom"! I am just giving general examples! :) I don't want people to think that their kids are going to become sick from being with my kids, just because I am typically careless and rush them back into social interaction too soon. I am afraid that if we don't take the time to really evaluate the kids' health and the appropriateness for them to be around others, people will start to avoid us like the plague! Sometimes I think my husband is "that dad". :) I have to really fight him sometimes, as I think he can be too quick to rush the kids out when they are still too contagious in my eyes.

At the same time, I don't want to be know as the mom who cancels playdates and plans when her children so much as sniffle. I have seen this, too. I understand that you don't want to spread your sick child's germs all over town, but when it comes to colds, it can take a few weeks for a child to fully recover. You cannot expect everyone to keep their kids locked up in their homes until a cold clears up completely. Sure, you can choose to do that for your kids, but you cannot expect everyone else to do that. Honestly, I think that is a bit drastic. The problem with being "this mom" is that people don't want to make plans with you. Sure, you are doing your part to not get others sick, but then you become so unreliable that people don't want to deal with constant cancellations.

Sure, kids will get sick. Sometimes you can do everything in your power to keep them from getting sick and they will still get sick anyway. This is where the gray area comes in for me. I am torn between two philosophies. The first being the idea that you cannot keep your kids locked up in the house for the entire cold and flu season... the second being that you cannot take your kids out too early or you will compromise the health of everyone else.

Yesterday was my nephew's baptism and although the kids have been fighting off a cold for a couple weeks, Lucy had a bit of a cough yesterday that started that morning and Charlie had a runny nose (clear discharge, though!). I was totally not sure what to do. My husband is the Godfather, so he of course had to go, but I had to make the decision about whether or not I would take the kids. Lucy and Charlie attended all the Christmas events, but Henry missed them all due to his illness. He has since been on antibiotics and doing much, much better. Seeing that a couple weeks had gone by since the start of all this, we decided to take the kids to the baptism. For whatever reason, though, Lucy's cough became something she could not control. It was constant the whole time.

With 3-year-olds, you do not always get an appropriate, covered-mouth cough. We kept reminding her. We kept moving her away from babies or food, so she would not cough on everyone/everything! But, I still felt like "that mom", despite the fact that I knew that she is at the tail end of this cold and that her cough was a dry cough. She was getting looks from not-so-pleased guests as she coughed, and I was not sure what to do. I of course wanted to be there for this important family event, but I also did not everyone at the party to hate us if they or their children ended up sick a day or two later! I know I would end up feeling so awful especially if our nephew or his 1-year-old cousin ended up sick! Ryan of course did not think it was a big deal, but I don't know that he was really seeing all the reactions. Maybe because I am sensitive about the issue, I was more concerned about it that he was... thus, I noticed those reactions that he did not see? I am not sure.

But, it never gets any easier to make the call. We did stay for the party yesterday, and we had a great time (despite having to correct Lucy's coughing etiquette). Now we just have to cross our fingers and hope that all the other guests stay healthy. We got through the decision for this particular event, but we will most likely have to make the call at least a dozen more times before this cold and flu season is through. I just hope that others will realize that we are trying to make the best decisions we can to try to keep our germs to ourselves without locking ourselves into a bubble until March!